Things in the therapeutic relationship that *just make sense*

Research consistently shows that one of the strongest predictors of effective therapy is not just the treatment approach or intervention, but the relationship between therapist and client. In other words, how you feel when you are working with your therapist, matters deeply. 

So, if therapy isn’t only about tools and techniques, what should you be paying attention to when choosing a therapist to work with? Below are some concepts to consider when you are making the decision if a therapist is a good fit for you. 

Collaboration is key. Therapy is not something that happens to you, but with you. It’s an active process where both you and your therapist bring perspectives, insights and expertise (yes, you as the client has expertise!).

Trust and Safety. In therapy, trust and safety look like nonjudgemental responses, that attune to where you are in sharing your personal experiences, while also maintaining a pace that feel comfortable for you as the client. This is a process that can be changed as needed (and especially when requested) to support the client.

Mutual Respect and Understanding. In the therapeutic space, you feel like you matter. Even when there are moments of misunderstanding–because therapists are human too– a strong alliance is formed when a therapist welcomes feedback and works towards repair. Ultimately you should get the sense that you are taken seriously and treated as an expert in your story. 

Dynamic & Adaptable- The relationship upholds the belief that to be effective, a therapist should be able to be flexible and adaptable enough to the changing needs or goals of the client. This might show up in the way that the therapist shifts their attention to what the client might be bringing up in the space. Rather than rigidly meeting objectives from a previously established treatment plan, the therapist will be open to changing those objectives as they change in the client's own process.

Professional Boundaries- This is akin to maintaining safety and trust, but focuses specifically on how the therapeutic relationship is different from friendships or family relationships. A therapist is interested in holding boundaries that allow for meaningful work together, this helps ensure that the time spent in session is about the client, and not about the therapist’s personal experiences or needs. 

Commitment- Therapy can be difficult work, but it is very rewarding. There may be moments of success, setbacks, plateaus, or restarts. A strong therapeutic relationship is one that can appreciate all those elements and maintain their engagement to the process despite the expected challenges and changes. 

Final Thoughts

Therapy isn’t just about what happens in session–its also about how it happens. The quality of the relationship between client and therapist is one aspect of an effective therapeutic process. If you are seeking therapy, tuning into how safe, understood and supported you feel in the relationship can be as valuable as the interventions themselves.

References & Notes:

This blog post is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional mental health treatment, diagnosis, or consultation. Reading this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship. If you are experiencing distress or need support, please reach out to our practice or another licensed mental health professional.

Cover photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash

Norcross, J.C., & Lambert, M. (Eds.). (2019). Psychotherapy relationships that work: Evidence-based therapist contributions (3rd ed., Vol. 1). Oxford University Press.

American Psychological Association Task Force on Evidence-Based Practice in Psychology. (2006). Evidence-based practice in psychology. American Psychologist, 61(4), 271-285.

Shedler, J. (2010). The efficacy of psychodynamic psychotherapy. American Psychologist, 65(2), 98-109. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0018378